I joined Curve Theatre as an Usher in 2019, in-between my A-level exams. I had been to the theatre on school trips and found the live-form fascinating, but I never saw myself as someone who would participate in theatre beyond being a spectator.  Being an usher opened a door for me. It never felt like work, my co-workers were lovely, the shows were vibrant and, as a writer, it was a privilege to see a new story unfurl on stage every single night.

After I finished university, I knew that it would be difficult to work in theatre alongside a full-time role. When I saw the advertisement for a new youth panel, I was excited that this could be a way for me to feel connected to the theatre that had brought me so much joy.

More importantly, as a young person coming from a marginalised background, I was keen to make the arts more accessible and inclusive. I interviewed to join the panel, and at the end, I was asked if I was interested in also interviewing for the dual-role as Chair of the Youth Panel and Young Trustee at Curve. Admittedly, like many other young people, I didn’t know what a Trustee entailed - but figured there was no harm in applying!

It has now been a year since I became a trustee and the role has brought me so many opportunities! I now understand how a theatre and charity operates, I have helped to encourage more inclusive practices, attended exclusive press nights and had my name printed in the same theatre programmes I used to sell as an Usher.

But it has also brought a few challenges. I found chairing a youth panel a more comfortable role since I was speaking to peers of a similar age and shared experiences. Sitting in a boardroom, on the other hand, didn't come as easily to me. I found myself too self-conscious to speak, too nervous to say the wrong thing or ask a ‘silly question’.

At the beginning, I had forgotten why I had applied for the role as a trustee and chair. Despite being interviewed and selected, imposter syndrome had struck and I became increasingly self-aware that, unlike everyone else, I didn’t have decades of experience.

Fellow trustees were incredibly supportive. I heard, more than once, things like:

• “It’ll take time to get settled - it took me a few months to fully find my feet.”
• “This is a wonderful experience, it’s okay if you want to sit and listen.”
• “You bring something that none of us have - a young person’s perspective, don’t underestimate that.”

Despite that, I found that the change came from myself.

So, what changed exactly? A few things. Time made me more comfortable with the board and sharing my opinions. Shifting my perspective made me realise that my youth was an asset, not an obstacle.

But most importantly, putting less pressure on myself to be ‘perfect’. I realised that being a trustee for an organisation I deeply love and admire should inspire joy, rather than anxiety. I suspect the nerves before each meeting will always be there, but it is only because I care about this role and the mission I have as a trustee. I wanted to do a ‘good’ job, but allowing self-doubt to become a barrier to this opportunity of creating real change is something I refused to let happen. That being said, I am by no means a transformed, inspiringly confident speaker in the boardroom. And that’s okay. It’s a continual process of learning that I am really looking forward to developing.

To any new or current young trustees, here are some of the things that helped me get better at managing my self-doubt:

• Remind yourself that you’ve been SELECTED. You have been specifically chosen to sit at the table. Your voice is as valuable as anyone else’s.
• Set reasonable expectations for yourself and recognise that others will do the same. Boards will not expect you to bring the same professional knowledge as someone who has had many years of experience. And that is one of the strengths of young trustees! Learning from scratch why an organisation operates in the way that it does and being inquisitive means that you’re actively thinking about whether things could be different.
• Be present in other ways. For me, it was sitting on a sub-committee board and attending events within the industry, such as press nights or workshops from other theatres. The more I immersed myself into the sector, the more I developed my knowledge and skills that could be fed onto board discussions.

Being a new young trustee is challenging and daunting. But I found that the rewards for supporting an organisation and cause that bring you joy are immeasurable.